The year 2020 proved that no matter how crazy the year before was, it can always get crazier. We had about two months of normalcy before EVERYTHING TURNED UPSIDE DOWN and phrases like “quarantine” and “flatten the curve” went from being disaster movie clichés to real, live, actual things we said to each other on a daily basis.
And, folks, if we don’t learn from the past we are doomed to repeat it.
We’re likely going to return to some sort of normalcy this year, but if we’re not careful we could be dealing with yet another can of worms come this time next year.
Let’s say hello to 2021 by remembering what 2020 was like for us.
January: What tweets used to look like
Before the coronavirus, this is what Twitter used to be filled with — extremely niché jokes about things like Edgar Allen Poe poems. There were also pictures of football stadiums filled to capacity and people sharing food at restaurants.
Ladies, if he's— SparkNotes (@SparkNotes) January 10, 2020
- always giving you one-word responses
- unsupportive when you're visibly upset
- coming over unannounced in the middle of the night
- faintly tapping at your chamber door
He's not your man. He's the Raven, nothing more.
February: The last month we could joke about sneezing
I haven’t seen a joke about sneezing, coughing, or staying home sick in 10 months and I couldn’t be more sad. These were gold mines of Twitter content. Like… hey, here’s a picture of Ben Affleck looking frumpy after blowing his nose on his front lawn. Relatable and hilarious!
March: Quarantine begins
Self-isolation is tough on everyone, but it seemed easier for some than others.
April: Churches start adjusting to social distancing
Seeing that this wasn’t going away any time soon, church leaders took their services outdoors, hosted bible studies on ZOOM, and learned how to perform the sacred rite of baptism in a way that honored 2,000 years of history and respected our current predicament.
May: We tried to get back to normal
True story: I was in line at a bank this summer and everyone else was wearing a mask and I heard the guy behind me say to himself…
“This would be a perfect time to rob a bank.”
I didn’t stick around to find out if he was successful.
A fun thing about grocery shopping when everyone is wearing masks is that half the people look like they’re about to perform surgery and the other half look like they’re about to rob a stagecoach.— The Volatile Mermaid (@OhNoSheTwitnt) May 24, 2020
June: But too many months cooped up inside made that impossible
While this tweet is undoubtedly a joke, I don’t like that grapes have gotten upstaged like this.
August: Back to school was… an adjustment?
If you raise your hand and it’s not on the screen, did you really raise your hand?
September: And putting everything into practice proved tough
I’m still not finished reading the Terms Of Service for every app I had to download to begin remote learning at school.
November: We made do on Thanksgiving
Another true story: I was in charge of making gravy this year. I’ve never made gravy. Who makes gravy? But the recipe called for “3 T butter” and I took this to mean “3 Total Butter”. I put three sticks of butter into the recipe because gravy tastes amazing and butter makes food taste amazing. It made sense in my head. Suffice to say, the family will not be letting me make gravy in the future.
December: But then Christmas showed us we can end the year on a high note
Happy 2021, everybody!
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