The year 2020 proved that no matter how crazy the year before was, it can always get crazier. We had about two months of normalcy before EVERYTHING TURNED UPSIDE DOWN and phrases like “quarantine” and “flatten the curve” went from being disaster movie clichés to real, live, actual things we said to each other on a daily basis.
And, folks, if we don’t learn from the past we are doomed to repeat it.
We’re likely going to return to some sort of normalcy this year, but if we’re not careful we could be dealing with yet another can of worms come this time next year.
Let’s say hello to 2021 by remembering what 2020 was like for us.
January: What tweets used to look like
Before the coronavirus, this is what Twitter used to be filled with — extremely niché jokes about things like Edgar Allen Poe poems. There were also pictures of football stadiums filled to capacity and people sharing food at restaurants.
Ladies, if he's
— SparkNotes (@SparkNotes) January 10, 2020
- always giving you one-word responses
- unsupportive when you're visibly upset
- coming over unannounced in the middle of the night
- faintly tapping at your chamber door
He's not your man. He's the Raven, nothing more.
February: The last month we could joke about sneezing
I haven’t seen a joke about sneezing, coughing, or staying home sick in 10 months and I couldn’t be more sad. These were gold mines of Twitter content. Like… hey, here’s a picture of Ben Affleck looking frumpy after blowing his nose on his front lawn. Relatable and hilarious!
After ya third sneeze, that’s between you and GOD. I done did all I could do
— _SCORPINKO (@SCOR_PINKO) February 16, 2020
March: Quarantine begins
Self-isolation is tough on everyone, but it seemed easier for some than others.
My doctor told me “no hugging” and “no personal contact.” Man, I’ve got the perfect family for the Coronavirus.
— Conan O'Brien (@ConanOBrien) March 13, 2020
April: Churches start adjusting to social distancing
Seeing that this wasn’t going away any time soon, church leaders took their services outdoors, hosted bible studies on ZOOM, and learned how to perform the sacred rite of baptism in a way that honored 2,000 years of history and respected our current predicament.
Social distancing baptism pic.twitter.com/S1CJiNPcOC
— Stephen (@GeronimoFrost) April 1, 2020
May: We tried to get back to normal
True story: I was in line at a bank this summer and everyone else was wearing a mask and I heard the guy behind me say to himself…
“This would be a perfect time to rob a bank.”
I didn’t stick around to find out if he was successful.
A fun thing about grocery shopping when everyone is wearing masks is that half the people look like they’re about to perform surgery and the other half look like they’re about to rob a stagecoach.
— The Volatile Mermaid (@OhNoSheTwitnt) May 24, 2020
June: But too many months cooped up inside made that impossible
While this tweet is undoubtedly a joke, I don’t like that grapes have gotten upstaged like this.
why would they call it a grapefruit. there already is a grape fruit. it's called a grape. someone messed up here
— thomas 🍌 (@perfectsweeties) June 23, 2020
July: And then everything was cake?
Things were going from bad to worse. We really needed baseball to come back on our televisions.
— bobby wasabi (@bIondiewasabi) July 11, 2020
August: Back to school was… an adjustment?
If you raise your hand and it’s not on the screen, did you really raise your hand?
Current topic of Zoom kindergarten: how to raise your hand so that it doesn't get cropped by the camera.
— 💀 damned sinker 💀 (@dansinker) August 27, 2020
September: And putting everything into practice proved tough
I’m still not finished reading the Terms Of Service for every app I had to download to begin remote learning at school.
It's called "remote learning" because of the remote chance my kids are going to learn anything.
— Ken Jennings (@KenJennings) September 4, 2020
October: It was tough to make Halloween work
But the best of us rose to the occasion.
My neighbor’s “Skeleton Zoom” display rules. pic.twitter.com/VWFZiussaL
— Brian Stack (@BrianStack153) October 18, 2020
November: We made do on Thanksgiving
Another true story: I was in charge of making gravy this year. I’ve never made gravy. Who makes gravy? But the recipe called for “3 T butter” and I took this to mean “3 Total Butter”. I put three sticks of butter into the recipe because gravy tastes amazing and butter makes food taste amazing. It made sense in my head. Suffice to say, the family will not be letting me make gravy in the future.
Just because I’m not having thanksgiving with family doesn’t mean I’m not buying four pounds of butter right now.
— Desi (@DesiJed) November 25, 2020
December: But then Christmas showed us we can end the year on a high note
Happy 2021, everybody!
Andy Williams: 🎶 it's the most wonderful time of the year 🎶
— Uncle Jeff (@PickleRudd) December 5, 2020
Me: yeah not a very high bar this year, Andy
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We just don't feel like listing them all 'cause there is like a bajillion & we're being lazy.